How about this Easter picture. I laughed.

Please make this song never appear in my head again.

Poor old Johnny Ray
Sounded sad upon the radio, he moved a million hearts in mono.
Our mothers cried and sang along and who'd blame them.
Now you're grown, so grown, now I must say more than ever.
Go Toora Loora Toora Loo-Rye-Aye
and we can sing just like our fathers.


Come on Eileen,
I swear (well he means) At this moment you mean everything,
With you in that dress my thoughts I confess verge on dirty
Ah come on Eileen.


These people round here wear beaten down eyes
Sunk in smoke dried faces they're so resigned to what their fate is,
But not us, no not us we are far too young and clever.
Remember Toora Loora Toora Loo-Rye-Aye
Eileen I'll hum this tune forever.


Come on Eileen, I swear, well he means
Ah come on let's take off everything,
That pretty red dress Eileen (Tell him yes)
Ah come on let's, ah come on Eileen, please.

My Easter Sunday, by special request.

Easter started off good. I got to sleep in until noon at least. I did wake up to see my kids go crazy for the basket of candy. I think they have been living off of jelly beans since then.

Anyway, we went to my wife's grandparents. I had a pretty good time. The food was cooked. That was a plus. My wife's grandma is diabetic and going blind. The last few times we went, the food was somewhat raw. Well, she has help now. Grandpa is helping cook. Thank goodness.

So the grandparents have the biggest T.V. money can buy. They thought that it would be a great idea to watch the Dean Martin show. I wasn't exactly thrilled as I barely know who Dean Martin is. It should be mentioned at this time that I did smoke a lot of pot before arriving. Upon eating, I also consumed a Vicoden. Needless to say, I was mellow. Bring on Dean.

We start watching the show and I make a comment, "I'm having a hard time following this show. I don't know anyone on the entire program". Grandma looks over at me and promptly tells me, "shut up". So I did. Someday I'll tell the story about how Grandma owes me a good cussing out.

I did enjoy the show, surprisingly. It was entertaining to a half doped up fool like myself. It was so different to see this show from the past. Dean was walking around smoking Cigs the entire time. His face was beat red. It seemed he was half drunk and somewhat of a pervert. T.V. has changed so much, and for the better I might add.

Happy Easter everyone. Or, belated Easter I should say.

Punkers???

I live in the city. Often times I see cars with a lot of stickers on them. I wonder, what makes someone cover the back of their car with stickers? Usually it's punk rock stickers. Why do the punkers have to put stickers all over the back? Is is because they strive to be different so much that they want to announce to the world that they listen to a certain type of music? I am different, my car is different, WE ARE NOT THE SAME AS YOU!


At least that's the message I get.

Retired guys must be bored as hell.

So there is this poor older guy that lives down the way from me. He has to be retired. I see him during the day a lot. His yard is perfect. I mean every blade of grass. I often see him walking around the perimeter of the yard "policing the area". It's sad. You can tell he has absolutely nothing to do with his time. Dam man, get a hobby. He has a truck with a bug shield. On that shield are five American flags. Neat. He also has a chain that he puts up in front of his driveway. It says no parking. He unhooks the chain to back his truck in then, puts it back. So sad.

Like I said before, GET A FUCKING HOBBY DUDE!!!!!

I shut this guy up real quick!

I play poker. So when your playing poker, sometimes, you talk. I made them turn it on The Ultimate Fighter last night. It's a reality show where pro fighters are trying to win a spot in the UFC. Well this little jackass sitting next to me wrestled four years in high school. Big deal. Wrestling is great, don't get me wrong. You just have to have more than that to fight.
So he said, "Man, I could beat these guys." He sees someone on T.V. fighting and thinks that he could kick their ass. Right....What a bunch of bullshit. Don't sit there and "armchair quarterback" when it comes to fighting. If you think you have what it takes, then go and do it. If not, shut the fuck up.
So, I called the idiot out. I'm like, dude you need to come up to my gym. You have a open invitation and I'll make sure you don't have to pay a dime to come up and train with us. I tried to talk him into coming to the gym. I would have gladly taken him outside and beat the snot out of him. That would have made me happy. Typical guy. Run your mouth until time comes when you have to back it up. Then, you run like a coward.

Don't talk about, BE about it.-Busta Rhymes

I'm so pissed. Here is my rant.

Fuck, fuck mother mother fuck. I'm goddam pissed. I can't take it. I want to go back and shoot every bastard with a AK 47. GOOOOOOOOODDDDAAAMMMMIT. You ever get so pissed it feels like your head is gonna' explode? Mine is that way now. I can feel the blood in my head. Pulsing, telling me that I may have a heart attack right now. I can't punch it out(I went to the gym to hit the heavy bags for about a hour). Mother fucker poker is so frustrating. I just lost over a hundred dollars on a single hand. I don't mind losing when people beat me. I get outplayed, big deal, your the better man. I become unstable and somewhat phychotic when people get lucky and beat me. I just shake my head in disgust. I'm going to eat a vicoden and have a couple drinks. Then a bowl of some fine herb should be me in better spirits. FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
I hate poker sometimes.(only when I lose money)

What a crappy way to start my day.

I wake up today and I have a giant zit on the end of my nose. Now, keep in mind, I don't have the prettiest of noses. It has been punched and or cross faced many, many times. It takes some wear and tear. Now for a pimple to develop right at the very end of it, well, just pisses me off. It's like putting lights on a billboard. I keep getting my facial features messed up. I get pissed and wonder why, but then I remember that I try to break other peoples body parts, so it's only fair for them to try and stop me.

On top of all that, I have a headache. I usually don't get them either. I took one aspirin, hopefully it will go away. I have a big day of pot smoking and video game playing ahead of me. Don't want anything to mess up that.

Got a new dog today..Well, new to us.

I finally broke down and got a dog for the family. I grew up on a farm. I had many dogs. Usually more trouble than what they were worth. I did learn to love a few. (sniff, I miss buttons) Some of them even became my best friends. My son and daughter need that too. They need to at least have one family pet. Then I can teach them how to love animals. They are timid near dogs too. Poor city kids. I picked out the dog. I'm sure I'll be the main person caring for the dog. She is a good dog though. I must say I made a great choice with this one. She is so mellow and seems housebroken. I hope so. One of my stipulations on getting a dog was that they NOT be a puppy. I am raising two children, I'll be goddamned if I'm going to raise a child puppy too. NO way. Zoe is the dogs name. We were going to change it, but due to it being four years old, we thought we should just keep it. What's a name anyway? It's the spark inside that counts. You can't put a name on that.

This weekend should be fun.

So my friend gets to go out. He has a child and never gets to do adult activities on the weekend. I think we are going to attend a fight, then maybe the girlie bar. I haven't seen any naked women in forever. I wonder how much my wife will allow me to take. Probably not much. I keep telling her, if she would wear a thong and dress for me, I would be glad to stuff $$$ in her G-string too. She just doesn't go for it. My wife a a closet freak, She is only 27 and I swear there is a crazy/wild woman bursting to get out. We'll see when she's 30 something!!
Isn't it weird how some guy would never tell their wife they were going to see naked women? If you were a woman, what would make you insecure about letting your husband go to a nudey bar? It's not like any of the women touch the man. Well, that's not entirely true. You can get a private dance and they rub on you naked. It's more like torture than pleasure to me. Here is some naked women rubbing on you and you can't even touch her. If you do you get kicked out!!
I guess my wife just gets the benefits of me seeing naked hoes all night. I come home (to the best woman on earth) fired up!! I say..."All aboard". The rollercoaster is about to take off. I equate my sex with a rollercoaster. Yea, it's a short ride, but, it's one hell of a exciting trip. You better hold on!!! Keep hands and feet inside the ride please!!!

Well, I emailed my father.

After ten years. I haven't spoke to my father for over a decade. I emailed him the other day. It was so hard to find anything to say. I tried to stay positive.
Like I said in my email to him. There comes a time in ones life, when you accept a family member for who/what they are and forget about all the things they are not. I would like to have some contact with him. My children deserve to know at least a tiny bit about their grandfather. He has a terrible past with me.
I'm bitter and callous about things that he has done, or not done. What do you do? Do you let that just rule your relationship with a family member? IS that worth it? I mean it's been ten years. What the hell, if we try to be friends every ten years....What's the harm?
He did respond in typical "my father" fashion. No emotion, making sure to place the same amount of blame on me that he is responsible for, and general distance from any feelings. That's my pa.
I think if he wouldn't think about what I could have been, or what he wanted me to be, he could learn to accept who I AM NOW. Might happen, might not.
When your 30 years old(or older), you tend to stop giving a shit what your parents think. My life is mine to live, he'll either suck it up and take a few shots from me or run away and justify it by saying/thinking I'm only on a personnel attack crusade. Only time will tell.
Dad, if your reading this (I did include my web log address) it's time for us to be real. No more bullshit. I will not tolerate it. Be real, or stay dead to me. I only long to hear the truth, I can take it. Sometimes, when your a family, you have to just take some feelings that others have. They may not be correct, however, you don't just denounce them or sever all ties with them. Or, maybe you do. I hope not.

I'm sad for my buddy.

So my friend is on a reality t.v. show. It's on Spike TV. You know the crappy network that shows garbage MOST of the time. Well it's a fighting show. He is a Ultimate Fighter in training. I have been very anxious to see him in action. He has been on the show over a month and has not fought. Last night was his night. He is pumped, ready to go. He chooses to fight a really good guy. My friend is a good striker, however, he is not that great on the ground. The guy he choose to fight is a expert on the ground. The fight starts...ding ding. J. comes out in a good stance ready to drop bombs! Oh no!! D. has pushed him against the fence. D. takes J. to the ground. Automatically gets mounted (both knees under armpits) position. D. rains down the fury on a helpless looking J. J. eventually turns and gives his back to D. for the choke out/tap out. Dam. Dam....Dam. I was wanting my friend to give a good showing too! It's not like I'm not his friend. He just lost a sport fight..big deal. I just wish he wouldn't have went out like that. He just covered up and took his beating. Dammit, my feelings are conflicted. Would I have done the same in that situation? Could I have gotten out of there? I will never know. Sometimes I wonder If I should go back to fighting. I only had two MMA(mixed martial art) fights. I won both, but, they were against total scrubs. Local tough guys. Some days I wonder......What could have been of my fighting career, had I chose to stick with it?

This crazy weekend is over!!

So I went to the Arnold Fitness Expo this year. Like every year it is a complete circus. People asshole to elbow. My kids class I coach did well. Two first places and a second. I only took five kids. My 13yr old got beat pretty badly. I'm going to kick him outta' my kids class. Time for him to step it up to the adult class. I got pulled over. I was smoking a bowl too. Luckily I'm cooler than the other side of the pillow and got out of it with only a warning. Had to pay $80 for motel room. That sucked. I went to a topless bar....omg these women were so dam ugly. One, maybe two good looking girls. Needless to say, I didn't spend any money there. In fact I found five bucks!! Overall my weekend was crappy. Got drunk as hell on Sat. night. I was mad at the wifey. I wanted her home and she was out having fun. Yea, I was a bitch about it ...So what? I wanted her with me!! She made up for it Sun. though!! Grrr baby, very GRRR. :D

The past....Will it catch up to me? Has it already?

So today I was reminiscing about my past. I was telling a friend of mine about what kind of school I used to go to. I got booted out of public school when I was 12. I had lived with my father , who was a dictator, and then moved to my moms. My mother was a recovering addict with many addictions to recover from. I love my mama, don't get me wrong. I'm just saying she had many problems to deal with from her messed up life. Messed up parents have messed up kids. I think it works that way.
Anyway, back to my old school. I went to a school called The Mattoon(city) Treatment and Learning Center. That's right, if you haven't made the connection...Mattoon was the city it was in and T.L.C. was the school. So TLC was a school for kids with learning and or behavior disabilities. I was special. I even rode the short bus. We had to pick the kids up that were retarded and take them to the one school, then the bus would drop us off an a different school. The short bus was fun though, I just slept. It was over 20 miles to my school so the ride was over a half hour long. I can't seem to remember how long the ride was...hmmm.
Anyway, at TLC when you got in trouble you would have to get charted. This was a record of your daily/hourly performance. If you got more out of control you would have to take a "head down". They would make you put your head in your arms and down on your desk for a few mins. If you refused then you would have to go to the "quiet room". This was a tiny room with a door and a light. IF you went calmly, you could get out in 15 mins. It was supposed to be a room to get back under control. Needless to say, I spent many a day in the quiet room. I would get in schools suspentions and have to spend weeks in a room by myself. What a absolute asshole I was.
Looking back I wonder how people cared enough to help me. I'm glad they did, I certainly didn't appreciate it at the time.
I don't feel like writing any more about this subject. Dam, all these memories of TLC....Ok, I need to finish this.
If you refused to go to the quiet room then it was on. What do I mean by on? Well, the teachers would say "STAAFF" down the hallways. This meant to the teachers, move your ass here now. So, the teachers would come in and usually they would surround you. They had to do a "takedown" on you. If you punched one, they would press charges and you would go to juvenile jail. You couldn't do that, however, you could freak out with all your might and flail about like a rabid animal on crack.
I have hurt a teacher or two (the women) by just freaking. Looking back I wonder what I was so mad about. Now, it just doesn't seem to be worth it. Must be maturity.
After the takedown, the teacher would carry you to the quiet room. They would remove any belt or shoes that you may have, and all things in your pockets. You would have to sit in there until you calmed down. I usually banged on the walls and kicked the door until I was exhausted.
The door had a giant lock and a peep hole. The teachers would look in. That was the best time to kick the door. You know, try to get it to vibrate and hit the teacher. The new ones fell for it, however the seasoned vets knew better. ...........More some other day I feel like rambling. Sorry so long!!!

Why even bother???

So you want a dog. They're so cute! My family and I need a dog, you say. Ok, let's go get a puppy and chain him up in the yard. We'll give him a tiny dog house and food and water. He'll be fine. We won't play with him during the day at all. We won't let him in the house. He'll basically just be outside, by himself, on a chain. Occasionally we'll walk by and pet him. We won't really give him the nurturing he needs or make the dog feel like it's a wanted part of the family. Just stick him on the chain and let him go. What a fucking sad life.

Why would you even want a dog if all your going to do is tie him up outside? Don't get me wrong, a dog being outside is fine. I just don't understand these people. What about the people that get dogs then make them stay in a 6x6 ft. cage? Why get a animal to put it in a mini prison? What did it do to you?

Do not get a dog if your just going to chain it up outside. What a pathetic life it will have. Might even be better off dead. I know I would rather be dead that to be chained to something my entire life.