Time to lighten up! Here are some Homer Simpson lines! Enjoy!!!

* Operator, give me the number for nine-one-one!
* It's like David and Goliath, only this time David won!
* Hey, just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!
* Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
* Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation.
* In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!
* You don't win friends with salad.
* You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on.
* Trying is the first step towards failure.
* They have the Internet on computers now?
* Okay, brain. You don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's get through this thing and then I can continue killing you with beer.
* Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
* Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
* Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!
* Do I know what rhetorical means?