My "rape" story.
So I was reading Toni's blog(link on right side) and she has a story about "Godzilla". It reminded me of a funny story about me when I thought I got raped. I shall share with you and you can jibe and poke fun as much as needed.
First, some background into my younger life. I am from a tiny town. Everyone knows everyone. If you are not from a small town you will not understand. In the town I'm from there were maybe six policemen. I knew them all very well as I used to get in trouble every other month. We were on a first name basis.
I go to a party and get entirely too drunk. I pass out on the floor. The next day my buddy calls me and tells me that Kim C. did some bad things to me while I was passed out. Now Kim C. is a person known for taking advantage of drunken idiots, like me. I ask what happened and he tells me that she gave me head in front of the entire gathering. She pulled my pants down and played with me in front of my friends. I'm instantly violated. Kim is a big beast of a woman with no good looking features to mention. She couldn't get laid unless she hooked up with one of those "chubby chaser" types.
So I get it into my head that it's a good idea to call the cops and ask if I can press charges for rape. I mean I was raped wasn't I? For some reason I just had to verify that men could be raped too. I was only 16 or so, what can I say? I get the officer on the phone. Instantly I know which guy it is. It's officer Waggner. He drives my school bus in the a.m. and has arrested me on a few occasions. I ask him if a guy can press charges for rape. I explain the situation to him. Careful not to mention that I'm underage and drunk. He says yea you can press charges and to come up to the station. I was about to hang up and he says.....Is this Nick? My dam jaw drops to the floor. I first try to deny it, but, then I know I'm busted. So being the good officer he is, he starts to tell me that I would have to get charges pressed on me for drinking underage after I fill out a police report stating that I was drunk. I say screw that and hang up the phone.
My buddy is at my house at the time. He is dyeing laughing. He can't contain himself. Turns out they all told each other, including Kim C., that they were going to tell me this story. Funny joke on me. Ha, fucking ha. Needless to say, I think that was one of the last times I passed out at a party. I shall never forgive those bastard "friends" of mine.
First, some background into my younger life. I am from a tiny town. Everyone knows everyone. If you are not from a small town you will not understand. In the town I'm from there were maybe six policemen. I knew them all very well as I used to get in trouble every other month. We were on a first name basis.
I go to a party and get entirely too drunk. I pass out on the floor. The next day my buddy calls me and tells me that Kim C. did some bad things to me while I was passed out. Now Kim C. is a person known for taking advantage of drunken idiots, like me. I ask what happened and he tells me that she gave me head in front of the entire gathering. She pulled my pants down and played with me in front of my friends. I'm instantly violated. Kim is a big beast of a woman with no good looking features to mention. She couldn't get laid unless she hooked up with one of those "chubby chaser" types.
So I get it into my head that it's a good idea to call the cops and ask if I can press charges for rape. I mean I was raped wasn't I? For some reason I just had to verify that men could be raped too. I was only 16 or so, what can I say? I get the officer on the phone. Instantly I know which guy it is. It's officer Waggner. He drives my school bus in the a.m. and has arrested me on a few occasions. I ask him if a guy can press charges for rape. I explain the situation to him. Careful not to mention that I'm underage and drunk. He says yea you can press charges and to come up to the station. I was about to hang up and he says.....Is this Nick? My dam jaw drops to the floor. I first try to deny it, but, then I know I'm busted. So being the good officer he is, he starts to tell me that I would have to get charges pressed on me for drinking underage after I fill out a police report stating that I was drunk. I say screw that and hang up the phone.
My buddy is at my house at the time. He is dyeing laughing. He can't contain himself. Turns out they all told each other, including Kim C., that they were going to tell me this story. Funny joke on me. Ha, fucking ha. Needless to say, I think that was one of the last times I passed out at a party. I shall never forgive those bastard "friends" of mine.
posted by Ronald McDojo at 11:37 AM
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